This Is Why Your “Bucket List” of Future Plans Can Make You Unhappy

There is a better way to create a list of dreams that can become a reality.

I recently returned from an amazing trip to Egypt that included visiting many iconic temples and incredible pharaoh’s tombs located along the Nile River, and of course, the Great Pyramids and Sphinx pear Cairo.

When I shared pictures from my trip with friends and via social media, almost everyone who saw them said, “That’s on my bucket list!”

Using the term “bucket list” to describe our dreams of future trips and adventures has become a part of our language since the 2007 movie, The Bucket List.

But do we all recall the origin of a “to-do” list of adventures and experiences in the film’s plot? It was created by one of the story’s two main characters who knows he has terminal cancer.

“All the things we want to do in our life before we ‘kick the bucket,’” is how he explains the title on his list.

Somewhere over the last 16 years since this movie was released, I feel as though the original meaning behind “bucket list” has been lost. Do the people regularly using this phrase really have a “to-do” list of life experiences to accomplish before they die?

What if death is decades away? Wouldn’t your “bucket list” need to be revised each time you either accomplished something on the list or your dreams changed and you need to add a new item to the list?

That’s an awful lot of thinking about your death, isn’t it? I’ve found a better way to create a wish list of future big experiences and daily living goals that is far more focused on living.

The Original Bucket List Focused On Death

In the film that launched the term “bucket list” into our everyday language, two men, played by Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, meet in a hospital while undergoing treatment for cancer. They’ve both been given a terminal diagnosis.

It’s the character played by Freeman who shares with his hospital roommate the meaning of a list he’s making of all the things he’s always wanted to do in life but hasn’t yet.

He’s aware that his grumpy fellow patient, played by Nicholson, is a billionaire who is also very negative and ungrateful for the life he’s had. But he has no idea that he will actually influence the wealthy man to embrace the “bucket list” philosophy and fulfill as many things on his list in the limited amount of time they’ve each been given to live.

We then see them fulfilling dreams like racing cars, skydiving, and visiting the Taj Mahal all while learning some things about themselves and gaining insights that each didn’t realize should also be on that list.

They learn that traveling the world to view many famous wonders and being able to indulge in extravagant hotels is great, but not as rewarding as relationships with family and, as Freeman’s character says, “finding the joy in your life.”

The Pocket List Focuses On Living Life Now

A “pocket list” is much more focused on what Freeman’s character learned about while ticking off the things on his “bucket list” — finding the joy in your life.

A pocket list is kept close by and is compact enough to fit in a pocket. It reminds us to focus on making the most of every day we’re alive, not what we think we need to get done before we die. What are we doing today and tomorrow to live the life we’ve always dreamed of?

It also puts a focus on not just the big, once-in-a-lifetime trips and experiences but also on seeking out that daily joy to experience in what is living fully every day, not just once in a while.

My own pocket list still includes some trips and experiences I’ve always dreamed of, but it’s focused on what I am actively planning over the next year. These are things I’m assigning dates to and actually making happen.

But more of my pocket list is made up of the smaller, less extravagant activities in my life that don’t require a big wallet and don’t need to happen “someday.” I can make them happen now.

I want to remind a friend or family member how much they mean to me.

I want to continue to lean into my incredible curiosity about the world and learn more about so many things.

I want to take advantage of the sunny day in tomorrow’s weather forecast and spend at least an hour outdoors in nature.

These sound like such trivial things in my daily life that wouldn’t require being noted on a list. But haven’t we all experienced how time can manage us rather than us being able to manage our time?

For example, if I had not put “publish articles on Medium” on my pocket list, I would likely have not focused my efforts on making it happen. Instead of having published more than 50 articles and gaining nearly 500 followers, I’d still be waiting for “someday” to get my writing published.

I know that if I don’t make the smaller goals and experiences in life a priority, i.e., they “make my list,” I won’t fill myself with daily joy that feeds my sense of well-being.

I love to travel but I really want to love a lot more days of my life than the very small number that will be spent on what people describe as their “bucket list” trips.

Shifting Your Thoughts From Scarcity To Abundance

Here are a few ways to revise your list-making to include what you’re doing now to really live, rather than what you want to “get done” before you die:

• A bucket list is a constant reminder of our inevitable death, while a pocket list is a reinforcement of the gift of being alive each day.

• A bucket list is focused on a “once-in-a-lifetime” feeling of happiness, while a pocket list is focused on every day being an opportunity to feel joy.

• A bucket list makes us think of the scarcity of our time left to live, while a pocket list makes us think about how much we love the present time.

• A bucket list promotes a sense of regret over what we may not get to do in our lives, while a pocket list promotes satisfaction in all we are accomplishing.

I live each day with a positive, growth mindset when I use this approach to life. It provides ongoing fulfillment rather than feeling I need to wait for happiness when those big trips or exciting events come along.

It’s great to dream and keep manifesting those once-in-a-lifetime experiences. But balance out what will make you happy someday with all that can bring you an ongoing sense of contentment and joy today.